Squirrel Baffle Update: Spoiled Entitlement Squirrel Uses Baffle To Reach Food

Here is someone's video, showing how clever squirrels are.

I have been placing peanuts on the window sill, mostly for the squirrels, but also for any birds (like blue jays) that love them.

The new baffle from the hardware store was working well since Sunday - so I thought.

Today I watched a squirrel reach the squirrel-proof bird-feeder and eat from it, using the bush as one foot-rest and the bottom of the baffle as the other. He was a little unsteady but ate continuously and happily.

Some may remember that I faced this Olympic athlete before. I cut away all the bush props at the other feeder, because he reached up into it with his tiny paws. After losing the lower perch, he dangled down from above, his hind legs allowing him to clutch the bush while his front paws scooped seed from the bird-feeder.

Squirrel - Proof Friendly Feeder Raises Score to 11-0.Squirrel Baffles Humans, Defeats Squirrel-Proof Feeder

For Father's Day last year I got a squirrel-proof bird feeder. We were all enchanted with the blue jays nesting in a bush outside the bedroom window, within eyesight of my computer desk. The squirrels are abundant, so I got the model illustrated above, with weight on the bar keeping the seed locked up.

Birds are so light that many can feed on that bar without lowering it and shutting off the food supply.

This worked well for an entire year. I fed the squirrels field corn and a new composite type of corn. When I bought a bag of peanuts in the shell, for snacks, I decided to share them on the window sill. I lift up the window, place some peanuts on the ledge, and watch them feed.

Recently two fed at once on the window sill. I thought they would fight, but instead, one groomed the other, chewing through the pal's fur. Suddenly they sat up and faced each other. Turf battle? The Sill-marillion? No, they touched paws and faces in a quick little friendship move. Grooming resumed after.

For Father's Day this year, the squirrel decided to defeat me again. He climbed the pole of the bird-feeder, held on with one arm, and pumped the bar to jiggle sunflower seed out into his mouth.

I had my wife come and watch the show. She said, "Time to take down the feeder!" I said, "No, this is entertaining. Besides, I can put a baffle on the pole."

Sassy Sue and I went to hardware store for a baffle. Duncraft sells a large one for about $30. I can imagine an ad saying, "Perfect for our formerly squirrel-proof feeders!"

Sassy went outside with me to install the bracket under the baffle. Unlike the photo above, our land is fairly level and Sassy's friends live next door. They love to have her walk over and greet them. I have to watch them, since Homer is a grouch who thinks Sassy is too peppy and loud. Sometimes he sits in the corner and looks disgusted. Once he bowled her over. Sassy watches for cues from me. I call her back after a few seconds of mutual greetings.

Sassy Sue is quite popular around town. At the dog park, children love to throw her ball and watch her snatch it out of the air, bringing it back. Very few dogs retrieve balls. I have not seen one that brings it back to the owner's hands.

More significantly, Sassy Sue astonishes the audience by jumping up with her three legs to get the ball. No one is surprised when she plants herself and catches the ball with a loud "Swak!" sound on the way down. But when she is running full speed away from me and grabs it before it hits the ground, everyone says, "How does she do that?" I am still impressed, after seeing it done many times.

One father was far away with several small children. Soon they were all behind me, watching the show. Next they were participating. More than one girl has said, "Sassy is a bossy dog!" I usually answer, "They gave her the right name." I have not heard a dog talking so much at the park. Sassy tells me to hurry up when we walk toward the gate. She barks loudly at her friends inside the park.

People see the loving nature of Sassy right away. She has a shy smile that invites petting, and she asks for more. She recently sat in my lap, put her paws around my neck, and hugged me. If she can involve two of us in petting her at the same time, that is perfect.

I happened to stop at Dairy Queen without Sassy in the back seat. The young woman gave me the cone I always share with the family and asked, "Where is Sassy Sue?"

Sassy's new duty includes watching for the fox in our yard. Our daughter-in-law first spotted it last year, but I thought that was just a chance sighting, an animal walking through. The fox must live in the wooded lot and prowl our yard a lot.

Sassy's perch is on top of my pillow, looking out the bedroom window that faces the wooded lot. This is where she keeps track of everything on our little street. Dogs and cats do not trouble her (except on TV) but that fox sends her into hunting mode.

I have seen the fox walking back into the woods, thanks to her alarms.

When I go to the kitchen, three dogs follow me, in case I am getting something they like. They love the sound of things being unwrapped. When I make a cheese sandwich, they expect some, lining up shoulder to shoulder.

I normally ask, "Would the Three Little Piggies like some cheese?"

They move forward one step, in unison. When I told this story in a sermon, Sassy's ears perked up.

Sassy Sue Vocabulary
I have lost track of how many sounds Sassy Sue can make. She has a German Shepherd vocabulary and all the strange vocal habits of the Cattle Dog, derived from the wild Dingo which is part of the breed's DNA.

She rarely warbles, but it is fun to hear. One night she saw her reflection in the bedroom window, since the inside light was on. She sat up and warbled, warning us about the dog in the window.

When I stop at the bank or post office, she sticks half her body out of the window and gives me a loud bark, once or twice. She grins at me and sits on my seat until I return. People find it comical when they see her in the driver's seat.

Last week I stopped at the vet's office to pick up medicine. Sassy's last trip earned her some shots. I left the window down. She stuck her body out and gave a long warbling warning cry. I understood. "No more shots!"

Disappearing Suet Rouses Our Dogs at 2 AM

I was asleep when all three dogs began carrying on. I heard odd noises around the window, where the birds feed and suet hangs. I just put new suet in the baskets. A third basket disappeared on the front side of the house, so I suspected a raccoon. Last year they put an end to the large bags of suet being hung outside, since each one lasted a day.

I keep a flashlight on the window sill, but I could not find the culprit at first. I waited until the burgling sounds started again. I shone the light at the window. The shameless raccoon faced into the light, a symbol of thievery and greed, his masked face limned with hunger. With my flashlight beam illuminating him, he reached up and effortless unhooked the basket holding the suet. It fell to the ground and he went down to finish it off.

We live in the woods, above a ravine, not too far from a creek. We enjoy seeing God's Creation at work around us.

The Donkey Poem, Reprise

The Donkey -

a poem by G.K. Chesterton

WHEN fishes flew and forests walked
And figs grew upon thorn,
Some moment when the moon was blood
Then surely I was born.

With monstrous head and sickening cry
And ears like errant wings,
The devil's walking parody
On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,
Of ancient crooked will,
Starve, scourge, deride me I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.

Fools, for I also had my hour,
One far fierce hour and sweet,
There was a shout about my ears
And palms before my feet.

From Norman Teigen

Mr. Squirrel Gets Artificial Corn

I was going to write about early spring feeding when the blizzard hit, 24 inches of snow in the Sunny South, Arkansas!

To keep my costs low and the suet available, I buy the little blocks of suet at Walmart for 90 cents each. They have prices that go up to $1.30 for each square, but those have delicacies in them, like blueberry chunks and seed blends. The lowest cost ones have a little bit of cheap seed, probably millet.

I loved the huge blocks of peanut-enhanced suet from Duncraft. Sassy Sue (the wonder dog) followed me around and licked them before I put them up. The last two were stolen in less than 24 hours, so I gave up on them. Previously, they attracted lots of birds, including bluebirds. I also give them credit for attracting the pileated woodpecker, which I saw twice.

My favorite view window now has two little baskets of suet on the left side, one hanging from the other. In the middle is the squirrel-proof feeder from Duncraft, full of sunflower seeds (about 50 cents a pound, Walmart). On the right side is a reconstituted corn cob on a squirrel feeder.

I bought the reconstituted corn on a whim. A bag of two cost $7, about the price of a bag of crumbling field corn cobs, while last only a few minutes on the feeder. I have two spiked feeders, so the package looked reasonable if they lasted.

Mr. Squirrel was not happy about the change from all-natural to Portland cement. There were some initial tastes but not much action. After about a month, the tasting turned to feeding. My wife asked, "What is that gnawing sound?" Mr. Squirrel was chewing the corn away, slowly. I figured it was good for his teeth. So far both corns have lasted a long time and served the tree rodents well.

Before the corn diet started, Mr. Squirrel used the suet basket as his personal ice cream cone. The weather was still quite wintery. To get some extra calories, he held one basket in his paws and licked it for a long time. Yesterday I found him on his back, licking the basket from the bottom. How did he keep his balance? He hooked one hind paw into the screen, which made him quite secure.

Suet is very popular and thrifty for pleasing a lot of birds, not to mention squirrels and raccoons. We have birds feeding on the suet all day long, and a 90 cent block lasts around one month. Many species eat suet. We see a few starlings, various woodpeckers, and bluebirds.

I was looking into mealworms for bluebirds, whether live or fried or cooked into suet. Duncraft has confused mealworms with caviar, charging the same price for them. A container of live mealworms is around $40. When I dye my hair blue and go to Paris every spring, I will spend that much on worms. Until then, no dice.

We no longer have four male cardinals feeding at the same time, as they did during the last blizzard. But we are seeing a male and a female around the feeder. Cardinals are claiming their territory by singing. That is one of the benefits of God's Creation. The males claim territory with their beautiful songs, which translate into English as, "This is my yard. This is my mate. Come close and I will fight you off."

The male cardinal will feed the female from the sunflowers as part of the mating ritual. It is quite a sight.

The variety of birds is improving as they get used to a steady supply of dry, fresh sunflower seeds. The bird seed companies charge far too much for millet, which is either wasted or eaten up fast as a junk food. Black oil sunflower seeds need to be cracked open.

The cardinals open the seeds by chewing with their powerful beaks, so the birds stay on the perch and eat, with a droll expression on their faces. Chickadees and other small birds need to peck the seed open, so they usually carry the seed to a branch, hold it in their claws, and hammer down with their beaks to open and eat.

Sassy Sue always go out to feed the birds with me. She usually plays tag with the neighbor's dogs, but yesterday he went over to greet another neighbor. She is so friendly and smiley that everyone loves to see her and pet her.

Iced Orange Water - A Refreshing Treat

Orange blossoms create a beautiful perfume wherever they grow.

All sugared sodas are little more than corn syrup plus water, flavor, and bubbles. Obese children can probably thank their parents for getting them used to lots of soda, which turns to instant fat and really spikes hunger pangs. Popcorn is similar, adding fat to the mix.

Diet soda is not an  answer to sugared soda, since it loaded with questionable stuff to make it seem sweet. Many argue that artificial sweeteners are worse than corn syrup. I love the taste of diet A and W root beer, but I find it oddly un-refreshing, no matter how much I drink. Diet soda is not on my list.

Years ago, I drank enough Coca Cola to make withdrawal difficult. I began de-tox with orange juice, which was also another big slug of sugared water. Dieticians frown on orange juice.

I discovered that the best and most refreshing drink consisted of orange slices in iced water. I cut half an orange into little pieces, which can be eaten later. The orange bits add flavor and a slightly sweet taste to the water. Mrs. Ichabod and I both love this drink.

Lemons are good, but their staying power in water is not impressive. They get an odd taste after a few hours, unlike oranges. Limes have great flavor, but they are often rather dry and hard. Lemons and limes seem to shrink to pebbles in the fridge, at an alarming rate. I like lemons and limes in theory but not in practice.

At a restaurant, the waitress will bring lemon or lime ice water for free. Lemonade costs about $2. I said at the last gathering of Team Jackson, "I ordered de-sugared lemonade." To be frank, once sugared drinks are removed the diet, they seem odious and disgusting.

Mr. Squirrel Leaves a Message

A thank you note would have been better.

I have mentioned how birds remind me to feed them. They show up to chirp at me when I am near the garage door. They come inside to look for food on the garage floor. They even fly over to the cupboards to see if I left the doors open again. The squirrel cleaned me out last year when I did that. I came home to a cupboard full of sunflower seed hulls. He probably invited the whole clan to help.

I keep some corn out for the squirrels most of the time, so one of them left a message recently. I was working around the house and in the driveway. When I came back to the garage, there was an empty cob just in front of the garage door opening, where I could not miss it.

Mr. Squirrel could have said hello from a branch, as the birds do. He could have waved a greedy paw, the one he used to scoop out all the seed from the bird feeder. Leaving an empty cob was a tacit accusation of neglect. That was cold.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Ichabod asked about the yellow cardinals. I looked, when snow was still falling, and there were goldfinches already changing color. They love sunflower seeds, so they are regular, persistent feeders.

Many people buy African thistle just for the finches, and I can see why. However, the squirrels like to empty seed socks without eating the food. Anyone can get into the equivalent of the arms race dealing with this. The answer is to buy armored feeders that will allow finches to feed while repelling clever squirrels.

That also means spending even more on thistle seed, which must be made out of gold, considering its price. It is a rank weed, so the seeds are sterilized before being sold, lest they spread through America and kill their business.

Sunflower seeds and suet will fill almost all needs. The squirrels even come over to suet and treat the wire cage as a Dairy Queen cone. Suet and sunflower seeds cost only pennies a week.

More shelter will attract additional birds, but not everyone can live on the edge of a forested ravine. Dripping water will encourage birds and other animals to stop by for a drink and a bath. My best dripper was a large darkroom chemical bottle. One end made it easy to hang from a tree. The valve could be opened so that one drop came out every few minutes. It is that high-pitched dripping that attracts the animals.

When I had a rock waterfall on my pool in Phoenix, geese flying overhead craned their necks to see the source of the water. I thought, "Great. Now they will stop next year and plaster the pool with droppings."

Spring has arrived in Arkansas. I have already started sowing sunflower seeds for the summer crop. I simply toss the black oil sunflower seeds where they have a chance of taking root before being eaten. One little garden area is fallow - meaning I did not feel like digging it up. Covered with decaying leaves, it is ideal for a sunflower garden. I am ordering giant striped sunflower seeds for that garden and some other places.

I buy from seed supply houses because the drugstores and hardware stores sell colorful packets for too much money. They also think I want morning glories for a cheap hippy high. Morning glory seeds are not sold retail in Arizona, while tons of drugs march across the border each day, on the backs of illegal immigrants.

Sunflower seeds can be planted as a fort with sunflower walls, around play equipment, for children and grandchildren. Children like to hide among the growing plants.

Sunflowers are impressive at nine feet tall, with huge disks forming. A squirrel will ride the flower and eat it before the seeds form, then come back and harvest the finished seed-heads.

Another fun project is to have a striped Russian sunflower contest, to see who grows the tallest or the biggest disk. The key to optimal growth is plenty of water and a foundation of manure or compost. Sunflowers are heavy feeders (like corn) and thrive when given all the food they want. They droop as soon as the water level is too low for them; it is surprising how demanding they are.

Meanwhile various creatures enjoy the growing sunflower. Spiders locate there and trap insects. Grasshoppers will land and chew on some leaves, unable to keep up with the growth. It must be an insect's dream come true, to land on food that never stops growing, compensation for a short life. Birds love to see their food moving around on a tall object, too. A Russian sunflower soon creates enough strength to support birds looking for food on the plant or nearby.

My mother was quite an expert on insects. She pointed out to all the phobics that almost all insects are beneficial. They balance each other, as God planned. A lot of pest insects will attract and feed a preying mantis. Cottony maple scale is the perfect food for lady bugs (named after the Virgin Mary). Scale insects landed on a maple tree once and soon lady bugs were all over them.

Ants are the morticians of the insect world, collecting the departed and taking them home for a memorial feast.

Wasps are sadistic, planting their eggs in insect larvae, only to have them hatch in the midst of fresh, moist food.

Sowbugs and pillbugs live in decaying vegetation, hating sunlight. Starlings will march along, with their comical gait, flip over a leaf, and have a meal. And yet people call starlings a pest bird. Few birds are smarter or more active in eating weed seeds and insects.